Thursday, 28 April 2016
I am struggling with my personal yoga practise . I practise with asana (poses) 5 to 6 days a week. The decision to practise is recreated each time I practise, though I only ever deal with the practise AT THAT MOMENT I never think into the future about practising tomorrow, next week, next year, everyday . I just practise today.
This week it has been hard, lacking motivation to get out of bed, not looking forward to my practise, feeling sore and stiff in my body its been the same every day since Monday. Because I have had my own yoga practise for some years I am by now accustomed to this change of feeling, about my practise, knowing that it is just a dull feeling, or an emotion or a thought and I also know that is not how it is going to be forever. Its just what's there for me right now and SO WHAT! to that feeling of ennui, lack of motivation, boredom , wanting to lie in bed etc. etc. Today I don’t FEEL like going to practise, as a nod to my ego I think the thought I am too tired, too busy, too sore….
I still tell my body that it’s going to yoga practise, no compromise, no thinking myself out of my practise. No believing , this feeling is how it is and I that I have to follow that feeling, thought or idea. You see deep down I know this feeling too will change, because I have experienced and evidenced this change many times through my practise life. I have learnt through practise that everything changes all the time. So it’s not in the hope that things will change, and I will feel, nay want to go to practise, my experience has already taught me IT WILL CHANGE, and I just have to wait it out, for this to happen. It may happen tomorrow morning when I will leap out of bed busting to be at practise or it could happen next week, the one certain thing is, that this feeling will change and until it does, I, using WILL, will undermine my own sweet seductive thoughts, feelings and emotions and get on my mat NOW . Reminding myself that yoga is the practise of surrendering and letting go i.e not participating in my wonderful thoughts feelings and ideas and just simply return to the mat day after day.
I KNOW I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS I KNOW I HAVE CHOICE, I HAVE WILL .
And when the feeling does change next week and I actively want to go to my yoga practise it will be with a nod in the direction, that I recognise the change, and the sure knowledge that at some other point in the future, this too shall pass. I will once again be a reluctant yoga practitioner! Surrendering to just how it is and to just how it is not.
Plus c,a change plus la meme chose!
One thing is certain though, I know on the mat I will feel, think differently within 60 mins that's pure gold! How about you? How are you feeling about going to yoga practise right now ? What limiting story are you creating as to why you shouldn't go ?
See you on the mat #marellafyffeyoga